Manmachine201's eneasy guide to democracy

Yes, this week, just to be different to all the other billions of bloggers out there this week I'm going to have a crack at democracy politics, freedom of speech and all that sort of shit.



Grodon Brown, warming up for Carl Cox on the decks at Pacha, Ibiza 2009.

Our Prime Minister Gordon Brown, the man who is steering us through an economic crisis of biblical proportions (inasmuch as it might force people to wake up and see that the concept of money isn't real, it is a man made hypothesis and means absolutely nothing. If it is man made it shouldn't fail, because it is designed by us to perform a function for us and if it fails we should try to create something else in its place.) was yesterday attacked by an old woman.



She said something along the lines of "all these foreigners com ooover ear and teak or jobs by gum," or some other garble that elderly people seem preprogrammed to say once they've had a sherry doewn them. Don't get me wrong, I sat down the year after Princess Diana died and listened to my gran all pissed up commentating on the Queens speech and it was fucking hilarious! Old people do say the funniest things.

However, these people who throw eggs at politicians and decide to "Give them a piece of their mind," shouldn't expect to get off scott free. Gordon Brown is a citizen like us, and like us he has the right to express his opinion. In his opinion she was a biggotted old bag, so let him express that. He should have broadcast it in a party political debate instead of trying to be all PR savvy, like the other cunts vying to take control of us, the people of Great Britain. Would she have had the balls to do that to John Prescott?



The last pensioner to fuck with Prescott.

If it was me I'd have punched her in the throat and taken her bag, keys identification and any money she had on her. In fact I'd have marched her to a cash point and demanded she take out the nest egg she promised for her grand kids, fuck'em, they'd grow up to be just like her. They are just as big a cunt as she is.

As for Gordon Brown, how fucking weak are you, you let some old bint damage your credibility, which is shot to fuck anyway, grow a spine man, you're supposed to be running this country in a time where Arab mentals want to wipe us off the face of the earth, and people are coming to terms with the fact that money does not actually have any relevance to the advancement of the human race, in the same way that a Golden Ticket in Charlie & the Chololate factory only gave a lucky few a tour of the nice things.



would you like me to run your country for you?

So We have 2 weeks before we decide whether we vote for the blue one, the yellow one or the red one. I am spending my days removing literature from the floor of directly in front of my letterbox, telling me that I would be better off under LAB/CON/GREEN/UKIP/BNP/GREEN and honestly, it is melting my head, they are all saying almost exactly the same thing. that the other one is a nazi/communist, that they'd sort out immigration/ jobs/public service/stem the flow of bullshit that comes from being a politician.

Democracy didn't work in Greece, the first place that democracy came from, they squabled and squabled and squabled and squabled until they were invaded by the Macedonians, who made the Greeks look good. when they were ruled by an Emperor, then came the Romans, again, a republic failed and only excelled when ruled by an autocratic leader. when was Germany most successful? when was Russia most successful?

Just think of this when you're all queuing up to vote for A,B,or C. it means nothing, they are all going to tow the line, doing as America says and notgetting too involved in Europe because Rupert Murdoch says that is a bad idea.

Therefore, why should we settle it using the voting system, why does david Cameron not simply challenge Brown to a duel and we decide who has the minerals to lead us that way. Its much more simple than using double speak to confuse us into voting and will apeal to my base instincts instead of my morals and principles, which as you can tell are probably flawed anyway. I want to see a politicians severed headamd I'd vote for a man who can show me that, even if he is another fucking politician.



I will always resist the urge to show severed heads where I can.

Anyway, Vera Fuckworth or whatever that old hag was called is a cunt, I have a right to think that and I have a right to express it, even if the media are painting a fragile old misguided lady.

manmachine201 gets nudged into action.

When I was a child I was involved in a school play and had a minor role as one of the nine drummers drumming in the 12 days of Christmas song. Naturally I blew my cue needing to be nudged into action by a co-star.



Luis Guzman is a typical co-star, you wouldn't consider giving him a leading role because he is not Robert Pattinson and has developped a bit of a reputation as a man who can't be trusted after playing a turncoat in Carlitos way. If Harrison Ford played someone not trustworthy then he would be forgiven by the next film because he is Harrison Ford, he played Han Solo and Indiana Jones, an archytypal American Hero Whereas Guzman looks a bit shifty and never got the role of Indiana Jones.

People dont often believe me when I tell them that Luis Guzman was the co-star in my play, but it is true. Luis Guzman of films such as Carlitos Way and Magnolia, and TV series such as Oz and New York Undercover, was actually the person who nudged me to let me know I had missed my marker.

This was the face he was pulling...



A face that says, "dude, you've just missed your cue."

Funnily enough there are people who could constantly leave you feeling like you have missed your cue.



The many faces of Roman Abramovic.

Funnily enough Roman was also one of the 9 drummers drumming. That sounds even harder to believe giving the age difference and the fact that Abramovic was brought up in Communist Russia, but Roman was involved in a student exchange programme leading him to be at the same school as me for a few weeks thus becoming one of the 9 drummers drumming.

Another person who many have trouble trusting is Tony Blair the former Prime Minister, perhaps a politician who became addicted to war. Perhaps he told lies to get us into a long war of attrician with several muslim states, maybe he lied about killing advisors of the government, we'll probably never know.



Maybe at my next school reunion I'll ask him, because, yes, you've guessed it. Blair was another one of the 9 drummers drumming.

The more cynical amongst you may even accuse me of making up this story because I've found a load of pictures of people that only half smile in certain pictures after accidentally coming across a picture of luis Guzman with an ambiguous facial expression, you might say what next Mona Lisa is one of the 9 drummers drumming?

Well strangely enough, in spite of your cynicism, and the fact that it becomes beyond the realm of probablility, Yes the Mona Lisa was yet another of the 9 drummers drumming, and she turned to me as I missed my cue and she pulled this face...



It was a little bit scary to be honest to find myself with these various people who would eventually take various positions in society, be it actor or politician, or back street abortionist, and here was me missing my cue.

Of course Brian Epstein and the Beatles were the other 5 of the 9 drummers drumming.



Stupid!

What I am trying to say is that sometimes we are all Luis Guzman, and even at a pinch we can be the other people mentioned in this blog. Sometimes, we start with the idea about doing a guide to being an uncle and get so sidetracked by the idea of Luis Guzman that we get really confused to the point where we can't find our trail of thought and end up harping on about that day when we fluffed a line in a school play... ah well. ho hum.

There are other occasions where we are the ones that seem to have missed our cue. The only thing we can do in this situation is that we make sure we have enough money in our account to afford bus fare to a job interview, or at least to ask Paul if you can join his band, or ask Tony Blair if we can fuck up some small nation so that we can line our pockets, but we do miss our cues. The best thing to do is to roll with the punches, try to look out for the next opportunity and most importantly Smile for the cameras.



Or Don't.