A welcome distraction from Libya

Having being abroad with limited internet and TV access, I missed a chance to hit the blogosphere with a massive "What does Gadaffi have in common with Charlie Sheen" blog. Being too far from a computer I missed the chance and now there are probably millions of substandard blogs of the same material. I'll just mention a couple though, just for shits and giggles; they are both winners, for example, their people love them, they have both hit 7 gram rocks and finished them in a night, because thats the way they roll. They only have one gear... Go!



Actor Charlie Sheen on a balcony waving a sword.



And Gadaffi, with a melted face and a psychadelic background to boot.

Actually, the last statement is not true because Gadaffi is anti-drugs. He believes his enemies have been poisoned by mind altering drugs, stating, in the typical manner of a world leader:

"They give them pills at night, they put hallucinatory pills in their drinks, their milk, their coffee, their Nescafe,"



...And it wasn't even caffinated.

Now I never noticed product placement in Two and a Half Men, mainly because I never watched it, but I'm a little upset that an anti-western leader has sunk to the level of advertising brands in speeches.

For a blog which isn't about Sheen or Gadaffi I have talked about them alot, this is because I was in a country where the only English speaking channel was BBC world or CNN, both news channels... and for a whole week I was subjected to conflicting reports where the rebels claimed to be winning followed by reports that gadaffi forces claimed they were winning. It became disorientating, claustraphobic and towards the end, painful. The same with the tiny showbiz sections which were dominated by Charlie Sheen's sacking from 2 and a half men.



So as you can imagine, the largest earthquake in Japanese history came as light relief after a week of impending civil war. It's always lovely to get a new news story, when an old one has been dominating the press for too long. the editors of western news media were obvious in their decision, 'Libya, its been fun, we've liked you're will they?/won't they set up a no fly zone? It reminds our viewers of Ross and Rachel from friends, but something better has happened elsewhere in the world'.



"I went with the Japan story because we were on a break!"

So for that reason, I'm not entirely convinced that it was a bad thing, yes there are an estimated 10,000 deaths, but lets be honest, they're only the japenese aren't they, its not like they are anywhere near us.

Now this is the typical attitude of your average Sun reader, feigning sympathy before quickly turning the page to ogle the tits on page 3, but it is not my attitude, I love the Japanese... I have news for them, the Sun readers, not the Japanese, they have enough news at the moment.

The massive Japanese earthquake and big waves thing has caused damage to Nuclear powerplants in the aptly titled 'Fukushima', Being that it could be potentially 20 times more damaging to the planet than Hiroshima, I can see why the Japanese have settled on calling the city 'Fukushima'. there is an even bigger powerstation just up the road which is even closer to a faultline called Muthafukushima!!!!!! and it wasn't me that added the exclamation marks, it was all the Japanese fault (line)



I think its got something to do with the fact that the Japanese are all suisidal or something because they used to fly kamikaze planes into American boats in suicide missions. These powerplants are in essence a gigantic figurative nuclear kamikaze mission, a complex one which involved losing the war, becoming a major economic superpower in spite of this before lulling the west into a false sense of security, all the time planning to build powerstations over zones of the earth under threat from massive earthquakes.



The Japanese Nuclear kamikaze plot was clever, but this bizarre post 9/11 attack was actually rubbish.


The earthquake has added weight to the fight against nuclear power becoming the main source of energy in the 21st century, but is there any actual evidence to definitively prove that radiation is bad for mankind? Apparently it can cause cancer, deformities and destruction so one argument is that we should ban radiation and nuclear stuff? The CND leader Carol Naughton believes this is the right course of action to take.



Naughton.




And this is Anna Kournikova who for all I know was born inside the nuclear reactor at Chernobyl, but definately in the Ukraine in 1986.

The Evidence is clear, Carol naughton is jealous of radiation because it didn't make her as sexy as Anna, although admitedly, Naughton is probably a better tennis player.



Although there is some concrete evidence that radiation can have adverse effects, here is a distressing photo of a man horrifically deformed by radiation poisoning...

































So there, both sides of the argument nicely covered, I have left the humanitarian side of this crisis out on purpous, and haven't intended to cause any distress to the victims of this disaster, this piece is simply to lighten the mood in what is a very distressing time, and above all to get a cheap laugh at the expense of others, which is what life is all about.



This way to nuclear bunker.