The Wrong Carlos.

A study by a group of scholars at Columbia university reveals that in 2009 Carlos De Luna, who was put to death by the American justice system, was put to death simply because of his first name. My aim is not only to clear De Luna's name, but to make sure that the right man is brought to justice. Although as the picture in the Guardian shows but the writers are far too liberal to say (but probably not think) Most people with the name Carlos look like the same person either with or without a moustache.



If you wish to read the news report, you can read it here. But if you don't wan't to, the jist of the report is that because lots of people called Carlos look the same, it led to the wrong man being given the lethal injection. I have carried out my own investigation and have come up with a list of suspects...

1. Carlos the Jeckal



Probably the most likely person to escape being put to death called Carlos, because he was a master of disguise, as the picture below with Carlos shows. it is almost impossible to believe that the two pictures are of the same person.



Convicted of three murders but thought to have killed scores more and injured hundreds; Carlos spent the 60s and 70s fighting Israel and capitalist society in general. He slipped through customs by wearing glasses, alternately growing and shaving off a moustache and having his hair trimmed every now and again... Now seeing as I have not read the article in full about the wrong Carlos being put to death, the untrained eye would probably just assume that this is the right Carlos... but you would be wrong to make that assumption, because Carlos the Jackal isn't even his real name(!!!)

So I am guessing I have to go back to the drawing board on this investigation...

The next suspect is one Carlos Tevez, a man who has never killed anyone, is a particularly dark character. Like the Jackal, he is a mercenary, but unlike the Jackal Tevez is not politically motivated, he is only motivated by money. He was arrested for refusing to play for Manchester City against Bayern Munich, which in itself isn't really a crime worthy of the death sentence, but there is a strong case for removing him from the gene pool for being such a horrible, mercenary, ungrateful and ugly cunt.

The only reason it is unlikely that this is the Carlos that should have been arrested and put to death is because the things that Tevez did happened after De Luna was put to death in 2009. This makes it unlikely that Tevez is the right man, but I will not rule it out, mainly in the hope that he is mistaken for a different Carlos and is arrested, found guilty and put to death by the American Justice system.

Next up is the idea that Carlos Santana may have been the man wanted by the Texas state police for the murder of someone or other. Even though he probably wasn't in the area at the time, he may have been indirectly involved, as most people who listened to the album Supernatural is terrible and it is quite concievable that anyone who has ever listened to it could be driven to want to kill someone. It is fucking terrible and really sad that someone who released an album as cool as Abraxas could go on to release an album as shit as Supernatural.
Of course, none of these are guilty of the crimes that Carlos De Luna was arrested, charged, tried and executed for and beneath all the jokiness and silliness of the conspiracy theories that I pretty much made up on the spot, there are some serious questions that need answering. Can America go on with the death penalty knowing that its system is suseptable to miscarraiges of justice? Why don't people called Carlos get rid of the moustaches, glasses and mexifro's? it looks dodgy and is likely to lead to the death penalty judging by the report from Columbia University.

The final question is what is it about South Americans that makes them statistically more likely to be killed by state machinery leaving the families of the victim with no real recourse for for justice?

If only Jean Charles De Meneses had been called Carlos, it would have completely proved my point.