However, the number I wish to focus on is not the number 3 but infact its next door neighbour down 1. more specifically this number is coupled with an amount of minutes and an incredibly negative and direct feeling, on the feelings spectrum it is almost directly opposite the feeling of love.
I speak of the 2minutehate. A group of people so angry, so confused and so secretive, that they did not know that they existed. Two or 2 scientists (depending on how dedicated you are to the academic rule that any number under 10 or ten should be typed out as a word) began back in 2001 (the year of, but not to be confused with the Arthur C Clarke novel, much less the film based on the book directed by, but not starring Stanley Kubrik) to colate and compile every single fact in the universe. These scientists were Mambo Janbestien and Sydney HarbourBridge.
HarbourBridge
No pic of Jamberstein, he is incredibly reclusive and hates clocks even more than HarbourBridge.
Naturally collating every fact ever concocted in the universe can be a tiring and unrewarding job which can leave 2 (or two) people feeling rather jaded, angry and impatient, and as a result of this they began making up facts. In fact they began making up facts before they managed to collate the first actual fact. The results were a combination of Sydney's oversimplified view of the world and Mambo's talent of connecting things which would otherwise never appear in the same sentence.
Following making up every fact in the universe, covering everything from Sugar to Shit, they diversified into the drinks market. The Fucking Fuck@r was born and they gleefully drunk it. Drinking this turned them into people with very nasty hangovers.
Hangovers lead to hatred and eventually this hatred would manifest itself in two minute bursts when both of these angry men would stare vacantly at channel 4 teletext shouting about the state of the music charts, if only they knew how much worse it would get, they probably wouldn't have been as angry.
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People with singlasses, music of secondary importance.
The fucking Fucker saw them through troubles such as sePtember 11th, september 12th and september 13th. The hangover was probably at a managable level by september 14th, they obviously celebrated by by making themselves another fucking Fucker.
The preparation of the fucking Fucker.
Eventually they lost the plot and met tragic fates after forming a band called the Beatles.
Sydney, having never had his own name tried to steal a second name from a Harry Enfield show and was subsequently sued.
because he needed the money.
After this his substance abuse spiralled out of control. HarbourBridge ended up disolving himself in a glass of water, mistaking himself for an alka-seltza after a night on the heroin and lemonade.
Jamberstein had a far more successful career peddling words at people. They would walk into a building and he would ensure that they left with hundreds of words, if they came back late with these words he would sue them. With the proceeds from his litergations he took a course in debate. He got so good at debate that he proved that God didn't exist.
He then went on to prove that he was God and subsequently stopped existing.
Fortunately for both of them reincarnation ensured their rebirth further away from each other with ample breathing space, thus giving themselves a chance to focus on things which were not the pop charts. They got to see things like flowers and feel breezes on their faces they feared words like 'fucking' & 'Fucker' which was recently discovered to have Cointreau, Vodka and Gin.
It's nice to see they both still exist, even though their myspace page hasn't been updated since september 11th 2005.
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