Manmachine201's uneasy guide to escaping and evading.

Mistaken identity is a common theme of French cinema in the 1920's someone puts down their suitcase and another man accidentally picks up the suitcase, hilarity ensues. A concept which is taken to another level in the films Big and Vice Versa with Fred Savage.



Fred Savage before after changing his name by Deed Poll to Macho Man Randy.

As you can see it is easy to mistake the identity of someone and thats what makes 1920's French cinema so real.

The other day I was on the 1912 train to Dartford, I got distracted and ended up at a station in Newcastle, it was here that I first came across former WWE champion and current cage fighting sensation Brock Lesnar.



I promptly asked for his autograph, He said something with a Geordie accent, I smiled and nodded because it is impossible for anyone to understand anything that anyone from Newcastle is saying... but wait I thought, Brock Lesnar isn't from Newcastle. He went on to hold a gun tyo my head before saying something else which I could not understand.

Then it occured to me that my life had become the suject which would have been perfect for a Jaques Tatti film. It was not Brock Lesnar but lovable father of 2, (oh, and murderer and fugitive.) Roaiooaool Moat.



Silly me, I thought and did as I was told.

It turns out that Moat is actually a dangerous bastard, which is good to know. there are also several more things you need to know about Raoel Moat.

1. He is 190 stone and 37 ft tall.

2. He eats babies

3. His 2 favourite films are Taxi Driver and Falling Down (his 3rd favourite film is Watership Down.)

4. he has had the firearms surgically implanted into his arms instead of hands.

5. He can't walk upstairs a bit like ED 209's and the old school Daleks.



6. He has shapeshifting abilities



7. He is not Brock Lesnar.

So these are the things that will help you survive an encounter with Moat. That, and a bullet proof face.

Although the future looks bleak for Moat, if he survives, he is set to be offered a huge contract as the new face of Millets. This news comes as it Brock Lesnar who was offered the contract said he was busy beating up people.

So cases of mistaken identity has littered this material but nowhere near as much as it popped up in French cinema in the 1920s. Oh, and Raoelal Moat is gonna be the new face of Millets.