I think my last blog killed steve jobs.

Steve has not been well for a while, 2004 was the point we all found out about his Pancreatic cancer, 7 years is a long time to have cancer. It takes a lot of self belief, positivity and sheer bloody-mindedness to defeat cancer... So when after chemo, invasive surgery, and course of far east herbal treatments, it still hangs in the balance.

Then Jobs, after his body has been battered by radiation and the knife, he read my blog, a blog about how the world is going to be okay because Steve Jobs is about to die.



Now the problem with the above level of smugness is that it cant last forever pride becomes before the fall. as the old addage goes.


The smug facade masked the fragile ego of a man who the slightest non-sycophantic blog could be fatal, and I am pretty certain that Steve Jobs read my blog. And it killed him...




i-Bye

While he was alive he was thought to have invented Apples, which are a type of fruit, although it turned out that Paul McCartney some 40 years earlier had invented the Apple. But even more recent evidence suggests that the apple was acutally invented by God and was not supposed to be eaten, according to the first ever i-Book, the bible.



Steve Jobs didn't actually invent apples, and he certainly didn't invent the bible but what he did do was take words and put a lowercase 'i' in front of it... which is pretty spectacular. did he invent the wheel? no. did he re-invent it? definately.



The wheel control thing was pretty much just a different alternative to pressing buttons, not a better idea, just a different one.

Anyway, if I wrote a blog that made Steve Jobs die, does this make me a murderer? Well lets look at the Amanda Knox trial as a tester.



In answer to the question on everyones minds... Yes, leaving it looking like a plasterers radio.

Amanda Knox recently had a murder charge overturned, and too right, no one that good looking should be in jail, but is she as 'foxy' now she has been found innocent? its not quite the same jerking off to a sexy lady who isn't also a serial killer. Although, wank fans bare in mind that all the experts wire in agreement that Meredith Kercher (or Meridith 'Who?' as the daily mail called her yesterday.) had more than one killer. There is still a possibility that although Knox didn't slit Kerchers throat, she held her down, as someone else did.

So according to the Italian court of appeal, this is not a crime, which helps my case if I get extrodited for the murder of Steve Jobs...

However, if we look to the trial of the horrible bastard murderer cuntfuck, Conrad Black, who seems to have been found guilty already of the death of Peter Pan, the King of Pop Michael Jackson, then there is a very real chance I am going to prison.



...where there is every chance I will have to share a cell with a kiss chasing physician.

So, a man hiring a doctor and essentially paying him hundreds of thousands of dollars a month to prescribe him whatever he wanted looks to be very close to making the doctor a murderer. This means that extrodition becomes more of a possibility. Lets look at a man who could be extradited to the US for essentially writing blogs.



Julian Assanage is wanted by the US for publishing sensitive material and is a posterboy for freedom of speech, it is unfortunate that he is also suspected of raping two women in scandanavia as well, this makes it less clear as to whether or not I will be extradited for killing Steve Jobs.



According to the prosecutors of Ratzlav Karadzic, in the 90's he wrote blogs about hundreds of thousands of muslims during the civil war that tore apart yugoslavia, it is thought that these blogs caused entire villages of peoples bones to appear in shallow graves all over eastern europe.

I have since discovered that it takes more than a tasteless piece of writing about someone to actually do any damage to them and that my blog had a lot less to do with Job's death than the cancerous cells that had completely taken hold of his body in spite of the best healthcare in America.
In actual fact Steve Jobs has probably never read my blog apart from when looking up pictures of Amanda Knox, because according to my stats page it is the only reason people actually look at this blog. It turns out that the lesson is not that I should be careful with what I say, but that it doesn't matter what I say, as no one reads it anyway...

Fuck You Jobs. If you had have made a changable battery for the ipod, then none of this would have ever happened. you blue sky thinking, visionary bastard, you.