More evidence that we are fucked can be found above where the cheeky banker (no doubt the exact same one from Deal or No Deal.) is absolutely relishing the collapse of the global financial market. But ARE we fucked? This is a really important question, not least because of the unnecassary capitalisation of the entire word "ARE".
Lets start with that video, the world isn't actually run by governments and lets face it, we all hate our government, we think they are incompetent, corrupt, stupid and in the pocket of big business, so it comes as some relief that it is actually big business that controls the world. We dont ever need to concern ourselves with silly abstract concepts like democracy and freedom. Or less abstract concepts like 'Freederm' which is a spot cream.
I mean you can worry about spot creams if you want but its more important to worry about freedom, and if you dont need to worry about that then you shouldn't really have to worry about anything at all, let alone spot creams. You may think that logic is skewed and that path will lead us to a darker future but it actually isn't a reason why we are not fucked at all. Even if Bankers like Goldman and Sachs secretly rule the world, all it takes is a rogue trader to completely destroy a bank, as people who have seen the film 'Rogue Trader' with Anna Friel and Ewan McGregor will know.
Ewan McGregor.
Or if you haven't seen the film 'Rogue Trader' with Ewan McGregor, you can think back to when Nick Leeson brought down Bearings bank with a series of dreadful decisions (which ironically was re-told as a movie called rogue trader starring Ewan McGregor and Anna Friel). This is the silver lining in the the cloud of despair that we are not, and have never been in control of our own destiny... to a lesser extent, neither are they.
So getting off the global meltdown, lets look at some reasons why people need to stop being so fucking negative. I know that saying it like that in itself sounds negative, a more positive way would have been to say "lets look at soime reasons why we should all have a hug and stop worrying." "and have a hug".
2. The Boogyman is gone.
The last decade has been overshadowed by the fear of terrorism, whether it be staring at asians with backpacks on the London Underground all suspiciously, or a general extra 45 minutes at airports to prevent further September 11th style attacks. It is a really good thing that an architect of terrible attrocities was killed this year.
Punchline picture.
3. New Iphone in October
Yup, and Steve Jobs may not even live to see it, the smug, cancerous bastard. The Iphone is so popular that there has been a press release to announce that there will be a press release to announce when it will be coming out. Imagine how many press releases there will be to announce future press releases that will announce release dates of the Iphone 6! Imagine how dead steve jobs will be. He will be so dead that he will have been buried and broken down into sedimentary rock which over time will probably become metamorphic rock. He will probably be have been compressed into a diamond after being reduced to mere carbon by the time the iphone 6 comes out.
If you look carefully you can already see a celestial light behind him. thats how dead he is about to be.
4. There is a lot less chance of a nuclear holocaust these days.
There was a point where everyone had nuclear weapons pointed at each other, and these were governments, not terrorists, it was like the end of Reservoir Dogs except with nuclear weapons, and Communist Russia instead of Steve Buscemi. There are still hostile nuclear powers out there, Kim Jong Il for example, but he's alright, so long as he's left alone in North Korea, which is fine by me.
If anyone in the world should have their finger on a red button which could obliterate the world, surely its a man that looks like this?
5. Space Exploration
There will come a point where space exploration will become a big priority again, once we destroy the Jews once and for all. Off shore exploration will give way to outer space exploration and we will live in a universe which belongs to us. Properly.
6. World peace.
I was only joking about the anihalation of the jews thing that I just said. I want everyone to get on and learn to co-exist.
7. Michael C Hall survived cancer. which means there must be a cure for cancer.
The guy from Spartacus blood and sand didn't survive cancer, but I prefer dexter anyway, so its not the end of the world.
8. The children are the leaders of tomorrow...
May they lead us to the nearest JD sports, I need some new trainers.
9. The fact that I found 8 reasons we are not fucked is a reason in itself.
10. In 100 years from now, no one will care about the problems we have now. The financial crisis will be worse, the sea levels will be more bigger, or whatever the gramatically and vocabulablary correct term is for rising sea levels. It is only going to get much worse, and if that is not a reason to be optimistic, then I dont know what is.
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