When pulling a sickie gets extreme.

We have all done it. Hard day at work, a friend phones up and asks if you fancy a drink. one drink becomes two, More friends turn up, none of whom are off tomorrow, because its saturday and only people who work in retail work on a saturday, two becomes three, a round of shots seem to come from nowhere, you start to lose focus, 5 drinks become... erm, I can't remember, back to one of the friends houses, one of them has a gramme of cocaine in the cupboard, it doesn't last long because there are so many of you, none of you have any money because you all spent it on drink, you phone a dealer anyway, there is a girl in the group, he'll give you all 6 grammes if the girl in your group 'does him a favour', the girl doesn't want to but the group put plenty of pressure on her, there is a knock on the door, its the dealer, he goes into the room, he comes out 20 minutes later, with the girl, who is crying, dealer hands you 6 grammes, out comes the JD, one of you chops a line, bang, more JD, more coke... its 6am... you have work in 2 hours, you go to the toilet to freshen up, the girl is in the bath, slit her wrists.



yeah, just like that

Thats your fault, your stupid inability to have one drink and go home has cost lives. She's dead, and You killed her. And not only that you've phoned in sick, let all the people you've worked with down. They're going to have to do their own job AND your job, and you're responsible for that girls death. You Sicken me.

Although, you are in good company, there have been a whole host of extreme sickies recently, mainly due to the 'Arab Spring' as it has been labelled by the Western media. The various arab uprisings seem to have a side effect of creating lots of people possibly feigning sickness. Not least, is the infamous Abdelbaset Mohmed Ali al-Megrahi... or as he prefers to be called... عبد الباسط محمد علي المقرحي‎. Stupid.



That was the man in his glory days, of course, this man is thought to be the man responsible for the Lockerbie bombing in the past (come on, I can't be bothered to research the date, I've had a long day and want to get in the bath soon.) Used as a political pawn and eventually handed over to face trial for the bombing... as part of diplomatic negotiations. After being found guilty and serving time in British prison, he was diagnosed with cancer and given a prognosis of three months to live and was released on compassionate grounds.



The above picture was taken around about the time he was released on compassionate grounds several years ago... The below picture was released not long after diplomatic relations between Libya and the west broke down...



That is pretty cheeky if I may say so myself. But the plot thickens. after the collapse of the Gadaffi regime and there is a very real possibility of a second deportation to see out his sentence, this picture is released.



REALLY?

We all know the story of the boy who cried wolf, and as well as ruining it for himself if he crys wolf too many times, he ruins it for others too.



Former Egyptian dictator Hosni Mubarak in an interview back in March this year. He said that he wanted to step down but that Egypt would fall apart if he did... roll on 4 months and as he goes into court...



Lazy fucker, in court accused of human rights attrocities and he can't even be bothered to sit up properly.

Say what you want about Saddam Hussain, he never pulled a sickie in court, in fact he was quite animated in defending his actions and failing to recognise the court.



"...five times I've had the flu in the last 40 years and not one sick day!"

Not all sickies are pulled by Arabs, as much as it would please me to say it, I'd stand there and say "All Arabs pull sickies because they are lazy and can't be bothered to work!" like a complete xenophobe. It would be brilliant. But its not true.

Chris Evans was famously sacked from a multimillion pound contract for being pictured out on the piss by paparazzi after phoning in sick from his Virgin Radio breakfast slot.



Ginger twat faker.

The Australian island of Tazmania has reached epedemic levels of single or two day sick days, costing their ecconomy a massive 35 Australian dollars.

http://www.themercury.com.au/article/2011/08/14/253181_tasmania-news.html

Oasis split up after Liam may, or may not have faked Laryngitis to get out of performing at the V festival.



And he can't even play that tamborine properly. The stupid sickie pulling wanker.

So when all is said and done; next time you fancy taking a day off because you had a heavy night the night before, or you blow up an american airliner over scotland and don't want to serve out your sentence, or you are an Egyptian leader who doesn't want to answer to allegations of human rights attrocities, or you are the district of Tasmania damaging the Australian ecconomy, or you want to pull out of a festival because you have been drinking and you only have one eyebrow, or you are Chris Evans: Think of the example set by the late great Saddam Hussein. A real man who never took a sick day in his life.



Although he did have regular doctor checkups, as should all men. Don't leave it too late!

Now for god sake get rid of that body in the bathroom you horrible sick person, I hope her lifeless open eyes staring back at you haunts you for the rest of your life.