New Labour New Danger

The world has changed a great deal in the past 15 years. 15 years ago it was the 90s. England were optimistic about winning a football tournament. The only war we had to worry about was in eastern europe and we were only there as peacekeepers. Terrorists used to phone you to let you know where the bomb was and Donwing street would hold parties that the Gallagher brothers would attend. Now is a very different story. What the world needs is someone to make sense of it all, and who better than myself?



A good place to start is this masterpiece of anti Labour propaganda, what did it mean?

A black and white photo of a rather smug looking Tony Blair with his eyes ripped out revealing a demonic presence lurking beneath the skin. Why black and white? Well, black and white indicates fact; the phrase "its all there in black and white" justifies that idea. The maker of this poster wants to unmask Blair as someone with a secret agenda; not hard to believe with hindsight, looking at Blairs record of two wars it is sad that the Tories got it so right. The eyes are a little satanic looking beneath surface. The black background draws in the eyes before attracting you to the simple but effective 'NEW LABOUR NEW DANGER' slogan. The chosen picture does make Blair look a little like a comic strip supervillain.

The poster campaign was followed swiftly by the mock 'L is for labour, L is for lice' party political
broadcast on the Harry Enfield show.





Who would have thought Harry Enfield and chums could be so on the money, when lampooning a smeer campaign?

With peace in Northern Ireland and historic talks between Israel and Palestine going on at the time and the cold war becoming a distant memory, everything looked so promising. Thatcherism was becoming an unwelcome footnote in British history and lad culture made magazines like FHM cool. Britpop dominated Glastonbury, which was one of only 3 annual music festivals. Where did it all go wrong?

It would be easy to blame the tandem of Britain moving to the left with America moving to the right, but there is much more to it than that.

http://wizbangblog.com/content/2009/06/07/while-the-us-moves-left-europe-moves-to-the-right.php

While right now this sounds a lot like a man in his mid 30's bemoaning his youth, there is a decent amount of things that are better about now that were backward in the 90s. Use of the internet is now widespread but 15 years ago it was only for nerds.



@ was a relatively unknown sign, known only to the frequenters of Camden who had seen the next big thing, a band called Menswe@r. (note that this is not an e-mail address.)

But this coupled with a shift forward in gay rights, womens rights, the fact that there has been an American black president and the invention of facebook don't redress the imbalance that exists at the moment.


I could go on about the way the world has changed since the 90s, and this is in no small part due to the fucking terrible performance by Blur at the Brit Awards last week... but I am still so impressed by the Smear campaign against Blair, that I might just use it on everyone I don't like instead.

They just don't make bad guys like they used to.

By attacking Bieber I am digging myself a hole, coming across as more and more archaic, but I might as well warn you now that in 15 years time, just like how the Tories tried to warn us about Blair, I will have been proved right about Bieber.

This was one of the good things about the 90s. Noels house party was cancelled, Noel edmonds spiralled into a wormhole and dissapeared. Some 12 years later he resurfaces in human form and spouts some bizarre pseaudo spiritual bullshit in order hook out of work people on some kind of belief system which is tidily packaged into a half hour show with advertising space sold at several times during it.

at least in the 90s it was just gunge and a man in a pink suit, now its a fucking invisible omnipotent banker, how in touch with the times is he? I have harped on and on about this man, mainly because I think he is the most dangerous man in Britain at the moment. 

While not even in the most top 10 of the most dangerous in the country, I kind of wanted to see what I would look like mopped up in a tory poster warning the world about a man who breaks his promise...

Look at the evidence, to quote myself "What the world needs is someone to make sense of it all, and who better than myself?" I have had about 500 words to explain and use insight into why everything went so wrong and instead I just paintbrushed together a load of fake new labour, new danger posters which, incidentally, have got worse and worse; just like the labour government did. If we are not careful, I will have invaded Iran by the end of this blog. The real question is why?

Not to be confused with the baleric classic 'Why?' by Carly Simon.

Well, like Blair, I started with good intentions; I wanted to change the world for the better, with a blog, whilst Blair wanted to change the world with the medium of political power. But I was corrupted by the notion of using paintbrush as a medium for a cheap laugh. Blair was corrupted by the notion of of being a wartime prime minister, and the only way to do that is to be in a perpetual state of war, whether it be in Eastern Europe, Afghanistan or Iraq. Plus Blair probably didn't know how to use Paintbrush. But anyway, it turns out we both make promises we can't keep.