Some More Facts about Gay Marraige.

A recent argument from a leading lobby group trying to block gay marraige claims that changing the legislation could also lead to legislation which would definately lead to the legalisation of polygamy and incest. This is one of the most worrying truths of the issues surrounding gay marraige; if this is passed through, people will eventually be abel to marry their sisters as well as brothers (because gay-incest marraige will also be legal) they will be able to marry everyone they meet at a party, eventually people will be able to marry cats, rats, fish, dogs, bats and cabbages. Elton John will also be able to marry himself.



...or a goat.

Elton John is of course one of the leading voices in favour of gay marraige, as well as being the writer of the lion king soundtrack and being very hostile to Taiwanese journalists and getting really upset during a tennis game because someone said 'cooo-ey' to him, but has he thought seriously about the impact that allowing gays to marry would have on society? We already know that if gay marraige becomes legal then we will have no choice but to legalise polygamy and incest, because some MP's and Bishops said so... and probably paedophillia too, I'm not sure why the MP's and bishops never put that in the leaflet because it is so obviously as true as everything else they are saying... but what other effects will it have on society?



Recent evidence to come out of the archives suggest that the September 11th attacks were not perpetrated by islamist militants, as we have believed for the past decade, they occured as a result of someone on each of the three planes saying the words 'gay marraige' forcing the planes to veer into the twin towers. If gay marraige legislation was to take place then there is a very real threat that every day will be september 11th.



The Fukushima nuclear disaster last year was initially caused by a tsunami and earthquake, but recently physisists discovered several gay marraiges had worked their way into the tectonic plates creating a seizmic shift which not only caused the earthquake and tsunami, but also Hurricane Katrina which devestated New Orleanes a few years ago. There are very real fears that gay marraige will lead to far more natural disasters. Scientists said it so it is definately true.

Going back to the legal issues surrounding gay marraige, which was brought up by the lobbygroup, a recent study found that because of the mechanics of the legislation surrounding it, that if it were to be legalised then there would be no choice but to legalise murder, cannibalisation and genocide. Now I am all for equality but not at the expense of millions of lives.

There are also reports that the upsurge in illegal gay marraiges caused the global financial crisis, by destabalising quantitative easing on the FTSE 100 index. In spite of these carefully researched facts there appear to be more and more people coming out in favour as this following graph shows.



One of the most worrying things about this is that the lines between those who favour and oppose, and all the dots on the graph, when drawn and put together, look like a diseased penis, which is probably a bigger reason to oppose gay marraige than any moral arguments or looking at the historical evidence which suggests that gay marraige is a bad idea.



Part of the problem is that gay people want to have the same rights as everyone else, but feel that by not being allowed to marry they are being treated as second class citizens, so perhaps we need to find another way to reach a concensus, it is obviously very dangerous to allow gay people to marry because it will lead to climate change, a further erosion of the global economy, wars and disasters BUT the fact remains that gay people do deserve to have the same rights as straight people,
(not Adam and Steve...apparently.)

There is probably a way around it, and that would be to ban marraige all together, people who are currently married will all have to get divorced and there will be an upsurge in children born out of wedlock, because wedlock will be illegal. The wedding industry will suffer, but in general the wedding industry is probably on par with pyramid schemes in terms of its racketeering. I want the wedding industry to suffer because they are overcharging savages that I would like to see going bankrupt.

So if gay people can't get married lets have it so no one else is allowed to get married, gay people wouldn't get what they want but at least they would be on an equal footing with straight folk.