Manmachine201's uneasy guide to long awkward silences.

It is 20 days inside of the year of our lord twenty ten, and already the gaps between these blurbs are appearing longer and longer. Gone are the days when you could check this page every 10 minutes and there would be some vitriolic update about shitting pissing vomiting and wanking. If you're lucky you might get me telling you you have to listen to an album you've probably already heard, and if you haven't heard probably wouldn't want to.

So far, its all about these silences that fall between these blogs... what are they? Why are they there? It is easy to look at them as gaps between Iced Glaciers in Antarctica...



...but you'd be stupid for actually thinking that was what they were. The fact is they are caused by a very strange but ultimately, mundane life, but it is this life which is ruining this blogspot. Already several key events that I would normally have swarmed over have passed by without comment plainly because my computer access at the time has been limited to 7 minutes of looking at pornography, causing the Manmachine201 project to fall into dissaray, and as the old saying goes, the only thing worse than an updated blog that no one ever reads is an un-updated blog that no one ever reads.

No, the gaps between blogs are nothing like cracks in ice but more like actual faultlines beneath the Earth, the kind that can cause the kind of earthquakes that can kill up to 250,000 people and leave twice that many homeless.

This brings me neatly onto the situation in Haiti.



Now there is nothing funny about the situation in Haiti, I'd never be one to make jokes about others misfortune... okay there maybe one thing funny about the situation in Haiti, and that is the Big Brother narator marcus Bentley sounds really funny when he says it. If anyone knows anyone from Newcastle upon Time, (not the Newcastle under Lyme, because their accents aren't as funny) ask them to say it because it will crack you the fuck up. But that is it. There is nothing else funny about the situation in Haiti, unless the death of quarter of a million people is the sort of thing that you would describe as a riproaring rollercoaster of a ride. Personally I thought that Schindlers list was fucking hilarious, but that was ultimately 7 million people, not a measley 250,000, and there is also the factor that haiti is real, it is actually happening.



bomm bomm.

It is so easy to blame the ills of the world on people like Osama Bin Laden, who may have initially been responsible for the death of 2985 people after the september 11th attacks. The Earthquake in Haiti has killed anything between 100,000 and half a million people. This tells us 2 things. lets look at the statistics...



The above pie chart is totally unrelated to the facts that we gain from the comparison between New York and Haiti, but the first fact is that they can't even be bothered to do a full and proper death toll in haiti, meaning that people from New York are probably more important that people from Haiti. The fact that I am being as inconsistant as I am in capitalising the H in haiti only adds weight to this argument and has little to do with my poor grammer and punctuation. FACT.
The second fact is that we need to stop hunting for Bin Laden ending the war on terror and begin the War on earthquakes and other natural disasters in general. FACT



cunts

Having done no research into the situation in Haiti and not really delving into the human aspect of the situation on the island, it is about time I cut the shit and actually get to the nut of why I am typing so that I too can help and not just sit on the sidelines typing sarky comments about the misfortune of others on the internet.

Angelina Jolie has had a tough life. She has been estranged from her father for the past several years which would take its toll on anyone. She had great difficulty getting a suitable man to marry and ended up taking Rachel from friends'is husband instead. It has been very difficult for her, and since this Haiti earthquake has happened, she has been very saddened by it. She has even gone over to help with the aid and stuff like that with her husband, the equally unfortunate Brad Pitt.



Hers is just one of many stories of Celebrities who have had their Awards season ruined by the events in Haiti. Lets help out people Like Jolie, Sandra Bullock, Oprah Winfrey, Paris Hilton and even George Clooney... who I look at every day on a billboard that looks like this.



Don't think if it as helping the victims of Haiti themselves, they're discusting looking and covered in blood and dust, who wants to be involved in that? Think of it as helping your favourite actors who are rich and therefore more clever than you. They are wise enough to tell you what charity you should give to.

So go on, help me to help them to help the people in Haiti. because there is no way I'm going to do it myself.