Manmachine201's guide to the General Election

Rightyo, lots of words have rolled out of mouths and from the fingertips of typers to keyboards about the political future of Great Britain. A hung Parliament hasn't occured since some time in the past that I can't be bothered to look up. There is defiance and anger in equal measure from both Labour and Conservative Leaders MP's and suppoerters alike...
But would it be as bad if the word Election was replaced with the word erection. I think people wouldn't be so worried and that there wouldn't be widespread panic that the next interrim government will not be able to deal with the financial crisis and that we will all end up like the Greece.



Their buildings don't even have roofs anymore.

So anyway. I spent the day saying erection instead of election and everyone found it very funny...



Except him.



And him. He was quoted as saying "thats purile and I don't like it."



This was the face Cameron pulled when I said general erection instead of general election.

So according to Eamon Holmes, the parliament was 'Well Hung'...



Parliament, a 5 years old Donkey, in a sanctuary. In Sidmouth, Devon. Not to be confused with Parliament, a 700 year old, in distress. in Westminster, London.

So, all this parliament type stuff has given the news a very political edge. As feared, no party managed to gain a majority in the cabinet. there are 650 seats in the cabinet, which I fend strange because I went to Ikea looking for another cabinet with less seats so that we could maybe settle the deadlock with a game of musical chairs. It turns out that they don't even sell cabinets with seats in them. This only proves conclusively what we have been suspecting all along, after the expenses scandal and all the cash for fabours shenanigans. The Government are fucking lying to us.



You can't fit 650 people in here.

This leads me to believe that the MP's probably had a cabinet especially made with shitloads of seats inside it. And they probably paid for it with our tax payers money... although saying that I don't pay council tax because I never registered and I never declare any earnings I have so I don't really pay any tax at all, I only drive stolen cars, so I don't pay tax, but anyone reading this should be really fucking annoyed. And it was this stupid amount of chairs inside a fucking cabinet that has caused all these problems. If they had less seats then this problem would never occured, So once again the greed of MP's rears its ugly head again. not only do they charge porno films to the tax payer, and having their moats cleared. and not declaring their top hats for tax purpouses while eating caviar made of diamonds and wiping their arses with special toilet paper from space, all with the taxpayers money. They are fucking scum. Well not all of them.

Some of my favourite MP's are Glenda Jackson who was an actress in the 60s & 70s. she held on to her seat in Hampstead & Kilburn, in spite of a targeted assault from the Conservatives. I like Glenda Jackson because when she was in films she got her boobs and her bush out.


Another of my favourite MP's is Ed Balls... pretty simple really Ed Balls. If you look him up in the phone book then it would say Balls, Ed.



Balls.

So, here we are, in a standoff, Brown still in power although a vast majority didn't vote for him to be there. No one wants Cameron to be the next prime minister, apart from the odd exception that proves the rule, like the millions of people who voted Tory. The fucking idiots. All the people who were going to vote for Clegg and the Liberals must have forgot the election was yesterday. Its an easy mistake to make.

Perhaps all the people asked on youpoll who said they were voting for Clegg thought they were being asked another question, like "which one out of those three on the telly was nick clegg?" which is strange because only 26% of people got it right.

So yeah. Its all going mental, I turn on the news channel and it just seems to be all over it. It is almost exactly like September 11th, except pictures of falling buildings have been replaced with pie charts and men in suits waving their arms. The economy is suffering, which is worrying because it had been doing really well before that, but hopefully there will be another general election in the next few months.

So I guess, its well done Gordon Brown. you are still the Prime Minister.



Dancing to 'stayin alive' by the Bee Gee's with 'that bigoted woman'. Kindly arranged by Sue.