Manmachine201's uneasy guide to avoiding reading the news about the pope.

How can I not? How easy is this going to be? I can just hotlink a fuckload of creative papal photoshopping and say FOOLED YOU!!!!!



Pope with bird.



i-pope



Pope on a rope.



Gropey pope.



I'm a good ship lolly pope.



Okay its getting silly and I've already fucked with your day once by promising a popefree blog, well fuck you I'm going to fuck with you again...



LaRoux pope?



Sort of.




So yes, unless you are illiterate or if you are literate and would prefer to read a book instead of the metro on the train into work then you will probably notice that the pope is in town, which has caused a stir. He has shown up and for the first time and will be appearing for the first time at this years London fashion week, unless of course there was a page missing in my copy of the metro.



one for the geeks.

Its on the fucking telly right now. the pope is with the arch bishop of Canterbury and they have both kissed a really old copy of the bible... now they are kissing each other... they are taking their clothes off... one of them has got the other ones dick out he's sucking... hang on, this isn't live coverage of the pope visit on BBC2, its just some gay porn... but its fucking discusting because they are both really old.






So there are a lot of angry people who want to confront the pope, partly over his involvement over lots of cases of child abuse cases although to be fair it wasn't the pope who actually abused any kids so these people are moaning about nothing, furthermore, everyone knows that most people only become Priests to fondle alterboys so if anyone lets their children anywhere needs a priest are similar to the Culkins.



Among them is Peter Tatchell, not the Culkins, he's not one of them, He's a civil rights campaigner serial handcuffer and gay. He is protesting against the pope coming over. Not that thats a problem there are lots of gays that I really have a lot of time for, like Stephen Fry... even though he is going to hell. The point is Tatchell hates everyone.



Tatchel vs Mugabe



Tatchell vs BNP leader Nick Griffin who ironically, is on the left.







Tatchell vs Russia.

Tatchell is being completely vocal in his accusations aimed at the Catholic of church of being cheuvanistic and homophobic, I think maybe he should start a little closer to home...



Jeremy Clarkson, Sun columnist and presenter of BBC1's second highest viewed TV show.

There are two arguments, the one for:

Jeremy Clarkson is a British institution, he has his ways sure, but ultimately offers billions of people in the 3rd world hope in an otherwise hopeless life, going to wells which have dried up flys all over their faces and that kind of stuff.



And the one against:

He is annoying, that he writes for the sun and is perpetuating the misery of millions by refusing to acknowledge contraception as a way to stop the spread of babies and AIDS, covering up child abuse at the hands of Priests, and generally placing too much emphasis on a book that is old and in many places discredited as 'imagination'. On the other hand it is a cracking book, but so Twilight by Stephanie Mayers, which doesn't have very much to do with God.



Better than the bible.

All in all not that fussed either way, did watch a bit of the pope on telly but it was boring so I am watching celebrity come dine with me which I sky plussed. Actually I lied, I'm fucked off that so much tax payers money has gone into this pompous visit, like he doesn't have enough money already, he could sell that stupid fucking ring he wears and afford an island the size of, say the Phillipenes, a poverty stricken country which is 75% Catholic. It fucks me off that Gods representative on earth who harps on about faith goes around in a stupid fucking jeep with 4.5 inch thick bulletproof glass, although saying that Jesus was Gods son and he got nailed to a cross, St Peter was Jesus representative and he got nailed to a cross upside down. Maybe Benedict should be less concerned about bullets and take heed of the very real threat of crucifiction or being thrown to lions. Saint Peter; Saint Anacletus; Saint Sixtus I; Saint Hyginus; Saint Pius I; Saint Anicetus; Saint Soter; Saint Eleuterus; Saint Callixtus I; Saint Fabian; Saint Cornelius; Saint Stephen I Saint Sixtus II were all martyred which either means they were thrown to the lions or crucified.

So maybe Benedict should get a lion proof cross proof popemobile instead because statistically he is not very likely to be shot.

Amen.

The frog that died for our sins.