manmachine201's uneasy guide to sex games.

In the past day or so, American student Amanda Knox was convicted of the murder of Meridith Kurcher. It has been proved in a court of law that the murder was a sex game that went horribly wrong. Knox will spend the next 25 years in a prison in Perugia and will probably dissapear from the media spotlight.



Which is a real shame because she is quite hot and I have to admit I have used the time she has been on sky news or being in the papers spanking off.

I am a bit confused as to how a sex game can go so badly wrong that someone ends up with their throat slit. I used to think tat the worst sex game injury would involve getting a penis caught in a zip or getting a paper cut on the bell end.

Her defence claimed that because she had sex toys she was treated unfairly. If anything, having sex toys should have caused prosecutors to look upon her favourably because at least they would consider her a bit of a goer.

So now she faces the prospect of being in an italian jail for the next 21 years, lets look at the things she is likely to enjoy. For a start Italians are known for their fine food, so its the best place to be in jail in terms of food. Italian resteraunts are quite nice so why wouldn't their jails be? There is also the prospect of having sex with Italian prison officers, which I'm sure she would enjoy unless she ended up with her throat slit because of a sex game gone wrong.



Italy also has really good architecture and art. So the prison cell will probably look a bit like this.



and the ceiling will probably look like this.



So all is well that ends well really.

She can also look forward to some really creepy fan mail, as she is quite tasty and has been involved in a high profile case involving a sex game.

"Apparently someone out there saw me on TV and thought I was 'hot,' so they set up a Web site where people comment on how pretty I am," Knox writes. "Weird. Flattered but that really isn't important right now." (Fox news)

There has been the worry that the case glamourises sex games going wrong and that more people will end up with their throats cut in sex games going wrong. And this is a very real threat. Other people to have died during sex games going wrong are Michael Hutchins and Steven Gately from Boyzone, who is also dead.

So how best to avoid dying in a sex game? Don't use knives in sex games. Have a safety word like 'STOP!' sexual perverts advise not to use this word because it just spurs on people, but stop is an age old saying which if used properly, can stop a sex game going wrong. if you were to say it in the style of an elderly woman trying to slow a bus down so she could get on it, or even a cat that wants to get into a house before the owner closes the door, you should be okay. But the only way to be totally safe from sex games is to not have sex. Join a nunnery, in Italy.

Of course there are other games which don't involves sex.



Monopoly can be equally as dangerous as a sex game when it goes wrong and you can also end up in jail. As well as possibility of falling out with your flatmates and killing them. Knox could just have easily killed Kercher in an argument over landing in a hotel in Mayfair.

or more apt perhaps.



It was Knox. In the bathroom. with a sex game gone wrong.

Don't do sex.