manmachine201's uneasy guide to watching films

I used to be really into films I watched all of them almost. from twilight to the hugely anticipated twilight sequel.



so intense.

These days I can barely stomach anything more than a TV advert for Gaviscon.

There is the setting of the scene. woman realizes she has indigestion. Woman takes Gaviscon and order is restored. This takes about 30 seconds. The average Lord of the Rings film is six thousand five hundred and fourty seven hours which is too long to enjoy.



too long.

So maybe we need to make films which are not as long as they are now.

There are exceptions.

The most recent rambo film managed to keep my attention span the entire time it was on my DVD player mainly because there was no plot no real anything except fire guns blood and dead burmese types.



like above except dead.

All the Rambo films are cheap at the moment which is the only reason I am taking the time to watch it. maybe all films should be cheaper as well.

Some films are free and on the internet but they are usually just of a woman and a or several men in a room rutting like pigs. maybe Porn should have more in the way of a story but then again maybe it wouldn't be serving its purpose if it did.

Maybe porn should be more like Rambo.

Plumber walks into a house, attractive woman tells man the problem and the man blows everything up. end of film.

Rambo is more than just good jerk off material. Rambo can act as a fantasy after the end of a bad day. you get rained on sent to an office which is since closed down. on the door of the former office is a note telling you the office isn't here anymore but in a really obscure place and the only way to get your key fob is to go to Charlton. Charlton is famous for having a football club. and not much else. a bit like Burma, except Burma has no notable football clubs.



Curbishley former Charlton manager, nothing to do with Burma.

Actually looking at the word Burma brings up strange issues with the mind. and if you keep looking at it, it stops meaning anything. eg... BurmaBurmaBurmaBurmaBurmaBurmaBurmaBurmaBurmaBurmaBurmaBurma
BurmaBurmaBurmaBurmaBurmaBurmaBurmaBurmaBurmaBurmaBurmaBurmaBurma
BurmaBurmaBurmaBurmaBurmaBurmaBurmaBurmaBurmaBurmaBurmaBurmaBurma
BurmaBurmaBurmaBurmaBurmaBurmaBurmaBurmaBurmaBurmaBurmaBurmaBurma

See? It stops taking on any meaning after about the 3rd time you read it. Also I'm not sure whether Burma has an H at the end of it. Not a capital H you must understand, but just an h eg. Burmah.

It would seem a sad and tragic waste of time to go back and edit all this just because you (I)don't know how to spell it.

So Adverts are actually mental these days. Particularly as christmas looms ever nearer. A friend used the medium of internet to broadcast his opinion that a woman climbing up a heap of apples to get to a perfume, is a totally madcap concept. but then again is a gorilla playing drums to a Phil Collins track any more sane? sure it might sell chocolate and people may even talk about it at work but we don't need art in the 4 minutes assigned to us to be hypnotized into buying products surely? we may as well have a David Lynch film on standby to watch every 15 minutes breaking up programmes like X factor, or if you are from America, 'American Idol'.



buy perfume. cunts.

While we are on the subject of American Idol, hasn't Paula Abdul aged well?



Paula Abdul on the set of American Idol NRA week.

Anyway, Fuck X factor and American Idol, they're both opiates for the masses, in the same way religion, the national lottery and erm... opiates are.

I'm talking about films. Although I can't really remember the point I was trying to make about them... oh yes, they should be shorter, and more like rambo, and created with the sole purpose of selling purfume.